I Never Thought I Would Share A Selfie of My Nude Body and Post It On Social Media…


Temple of Holy Music...
I Am a Temple of Holy Music…

I contemplated for several weeks whether I should write this article… Mostly, because this write-up features a photo of my naked body… Those who follow me on social media have yet to see a selfie that I’ve taken of myself, although I don’t mind sharing photos that give the world a glimpse into my life… Truthfully, as popular as selfies have become, and as fun as they can be, I find myself focused on taking the perfect picture rather than on just giving into the magic that’s made when I simply engage and celebrate myself… After moving beyond my thoughts regarding the possible reactions I, being a minister, might get, by talking about being a woman and the relationship I have with my own self-image, I explored the idea of capturing a raw image of my unclothed body. How should I take the photo? When should I take it? What kind of body pose will best illustrate my thoughts and convictions? What parts of my body should I focus on? Does any of this really matter? Yes, it all mattered.

Asking myself these questions gave me the opportunity to explore further how I really felt about me. I found that I had no need to disguise what was real about me. Seeing my life, every part of me, the inner and outer, through my own mind’s lens was comforting. On the day I decided I would take my nude selfie, I sought out the perfect place in the room where I was… I positioned my body in various poses while seated on my black, softly cushioned floor-jack, and I made sure the lighting was perfect… I then held my device slightly away from me, and as I positioned my hand to push the button, there was only one voice that I heard, the one that said, yes, do it… A second later my body, in full color, was on the screen… I re-positioned myself and captured more images until I had what I believed to be the perfect visuals for this story… I scrolled through and studied each photo multiple times… Through my own eyes, I realized, I am more than just a physical body, I am a woman who finds beauty, splendor, magic and music in her own being…

A time came, more than once, when it was necessary for me to be completely honest with myself… At these times, I wanted the people in my life to see, hear and feel my truth entirely; although what I am going to share is not about others… It’s about me, and my relationship with my mind, my heart and my body… It took many years for me to know my own mind, understand my own heart and trust my own body… During this movement of growth, self-love for me reflected itself in myriad ways… In childhood, self-love as I recall, unconsciously began with the relationship I had with my body… I or another bathed it and fed it food that nourished and strengthened it… I exercised it through play and sports and kept it in shape… I explored my body’s image, its reflection, while it was submerged under water or while standing before a looking glass… As time continued forward, I learned how my body’s form changed through movement, mental and physical techniques and practices… I learned how my mental thoughts, my emotional energy and physicality of my body could cause me to experience internal dis-ease (dis-harmony) or optimal health and well-being… I learned what stimulated me mentally and emotionally and what didn’t… I learned that sharing my body intimately with others brought me emotional enjoyment, guilt and shame… I learned what caused my body physical pleasure and what caused it physical pain… I learned that my mind, my heart, my body and my life experiences can be one or separate realities… I learned that I experience memory as energetic thought and as physical feeling… The most beautiful learning of all, nonetheless, is when I fully awakened to the knowing that my body is a giver of life…

There is a symphony of organic sound inside of me… Music, rhythmic and melodic tones, that has continually birthed me and allowed me this existence… The very first time I heard a symphony of sound such as mine was in my mother’s womb. The beating of her heart and flow of life within her were the tonal vibrations nurturing and growing the seed of my being… My spiritual essence and physical body that allowed me to first experience life within my mother, then in the outside world, were instinctually caressed by my mother’s inner music, expressing itself as unconditional love… This indelible consciousness lives on inside of me, reminding me of the capacity and gentleness of my mother’s true nature, my own inherent nature and that of the Natural world… I will admit, however, that there have been occasions when I felt as though my body and hearing lost their sensitivity to the organic sounds that first gave me life… The music that too is inside of me, and that I experience when I am near or immersed in a warm body of water or when I lie, sit or walk barefoot and softly on our earth’s resilient land… When I am fully in touch with life’s natural music, a harmonic hum of connectedness, I feel whole, happy and healthy…

I recall at different stages of my life when the simple act of laying my head on or near my mother’s belly eased whatever anxiety I was experiencing. The only time when doing so was too uncomfortable for me was at the age of fourteen (14). At this still tender time of my life, I expressed my love for a boy I admired by allowing us to experience each other beyond what we should have. After the encounter, I was too ashamed to communicate with anyone what I did, so I distanced myself from others, including my mother… I also began to distance myself from myself… It became safer for me to be in my mind, not in my heart or my body… I carried with me the memory of my experience at fourteen (14) for years later, therefore, seemingly replacing what was a natural symphony of vibrations I had been familiar with, with a nuance of noises that reminded me of what I had done. The overall experience guided my decisions during following years…

As time moved on, a great portion of my choices reflected my decisiveness and wisdom. Other choices I made didn’t get the approval of the adults and close friends in my life. I developed a tendency to believe I had the ability to see what others couldn’t, so I stuck by the choices that made sense to me. What I would eventually come to learn is that my choices would flower into experiences that would keep me close to the internal, organic symphony of my life, or that would drown out my inner, natural music. It was mostly my mental and emotional dis-harmony that caused the dilution. I then became more and more contemplative. I would think long and hard about how I could change my life for the better. I found that keeping busy with work and with extra-curricular activities helped. I became very good at being busy… I also came to enjoy more the responsibility of discovering what really mattered to me

I carried into my adult life a well-balanced attitude toward responsibility and discovery… After college, I accepted a full-time career in the Information Technology/Computer Science arena, which is a field I learned about in high school. I got involved with organizations that focused on community service and volunteerism and met lots of great people and made many new and wonderful friends. About a year into my career, I moved into my own apartment and did more of what I especially loved, travel and vacation. I didn’t think about it often, but I thought every once in a while about the joy I would gain as a wife and mother. To be the wife and mother I wanted to be it was necessary that I marry my best friend. As a young woman, I was more selective about my choices as I thought about my life partner. Having started my adult life at an early age, I had enough experience and time to consider who and what I would be happiest with.

Time came and went… I met wonderful men who remained friends and a few who had become more… With them and through existing friendships, I felt as though I had gained more insight about my life and on what was required for a truly healthy relationship. I gave myself permission to live and to explore my wants and what I believed to be my needs… What I hadn’t done yet, was give myself permission to completely let go of feelings and imaginary reflections I created about myself, because of previous choices that caused me pain and shame… An older, male friend I had recently met through work seemed to understand me without me having shared much about my private life with him. I grew to appreciate spending time with him, developing our friendship and learning more about the world, its rich history and the adventure it had to offer. I was captured by his thoughtfulness, attentiveness and generosity. I was thankful I had met another benevolent human being who shared with me the beauty of friendship.

My circle of peers started to see my newest male friend and me as more than just friends… He and I then allowed ourselves to be convinced that perhaps we were more than friends… Our intuitions, however, told us otherwise. We both knew that, fundamentally, we wanted different things for our lives, and that trying to reconcile our differences by entering into a romantic relationship could set into motion our journeys toward self-denial and unhappiness. Outside influences and our desires for something greater for our lives caused us to take a chance on each other and to ignore our own instinctive knowing. Less than a year later, at the age of twenty-five (25), I became engaged to my friend. Within weeks, I was pregnant. I released our undeveloped, unborn child. Shortly after, my friend and I eloped and married… At the age of twenty-eight (28), I released my marriage… At the age of thirty (30), I laid my head on my mother’s lap near her belly and hoped to again hear the music inside. At the age of thirty-six (36), I finally released myself by forgiving myself for making choices that I knew would bring me more pain and shame… When I finally forgave myself, I could then witness again in my own reflection and experience again in my own mind and heart, my body, as a sacred vessel, as a temple of holy music, as a giver of life… Like a child, I was discovering once more, me

What I have written is not a confession… I share this simply to remind us all that there is a symphony of heavenly sound that exists within every woman, man and child… I share this to say that, we all are givers of life, even though not in the same ways… and yet, we each can give birth to, choices and decisions that keep us close to our own internal and organic music… to rhythm and vibrations that create a whole, happy and healthy life, including our own… to thoughts and ideas that become visions and dreams and eventually our realities… to expressions and words that become fruitful dialogues and magnificent stories… to colors and tones that become a work of creativity and a splendid piece of art, to harmonic hums and melodic cadences that become celebrated music and memorable songs… Music is everythingEverything is music… It is poetry, painting for us glorious and vibrant pictures of life, of our Natural world… It is Divine Presence gifting us with the potential to be born again… again… and again…

I prayed and asked God for many things… But it wasn’t until I asked myself for me that I was able to experience again my life as whole, happy and healthy… Beyond my earlier years of life, moving into adulthood, I was learning how to have a relationship with others and with things outside of me… Mastering the ability to have a successful and healthy relationship with others is what we are taught most of our lives… We learn the art of making or breaking relationships by the experiences we have with our parents, our siblings, our relatives, our educators, our mentors, our friends, our lovers and our surroundings… But when and what does it take before we learn once more that our own minds, our own hearts and our own bodies require our friendship too… Until we can master the relationship we have with ourselves, we never truly experience a relationship and a love we have been ordained by life to have…

At once I carried memories past in my womb, then I released them and carried the seed of my new self… The organic sound of my own internal music, a subtle, thoughtful, intelligent, nurturing and benevolent hum, knew the time to give birth to me again… Then the beat of my heart awakened me, to the life of self-love…

I Hear A Symphony… I hope you can too…

Healthy Lives Campaign: I meditate daily because I love the experience of going into myself and hearing my own internal, organic music… I love the feelings that I feel, and I love that they are long-lasting… I lead meditation for others so that they too can have the same experience with themselves… It is one of the greatest and highest experiences that any one of us can have, to be fully in touch with you…

“When you join the flow, the music is inside and outside, and both are the same.” ~ Michael Jackson

Meditation Exercise: Place your right hand gently over your heart region, on your chest, and your left hand gently over your lower abdomen, allowing you to connect, feel and hear through both hands the musical flow of vibrations within you. Sit in silence feeling and listening… Take a few deep breaths in and out of your nose and more fully engage the music inside… Shortly, you should feel a deep calmness and greater experience of love inside of you… Make time to do this practice daily…

Always sending forth love and light…Dana Rondel

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Allan Djsoul Alston says:

    Very Beautiful And Very Touching. May God Continue To Bless You

    Like

    1. Dana Rondel says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you for such a thoughtful reply. I am grateful…

      May your life as well be continually blessed…

      Like

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  3. Monic says:

    I went to tons of links before this, what was I thnkgini?

    Like

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